"You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." -Psalm 16:11
God, you offer me eternal joys and pleasures. You are better than anything this world has to offer. You provide more satisfaction than anything I try to fill my life with. So, why do I worry? Why do I get anxious or stressed? Lord, I try to take You and put You in "my world" and act like I am such a great Christian woman. However, I shouldn't be trying to fit You into my life. I should be revolving my life around everything You are. Using this temporal time on Earth as a ministry and an opportunity to make Your name Famous! Beloved, I want to be so incredibly saturated and filled with You, that I can't help seep You. I want You to naturally come out of everything in me. Not forcibly so I am perceived as a woman fearing and seeking You... but authentically.
Father, I try to radiate You so boldly that I turn it into being about me. I try to manipulate and trick people into thinking I have got it all together, when really... I am such a screw up and am ridiculously broken. But you find that beautiful. So instead of me trying to be perceived as "perfect', Lord, I ask that You allow me to be keenly aware of my need for a Savior. To pray fervently... rely fully... Seek You wholly... and desire You intimately. God-- allow me to learn how to be fully dependent on You. Open my eyes to see how it looks to follow submissively. Whether that means to learn so I can be prepared for the future or simply for the now. Make me YOURS.
I want to experience the riches and beauty of Salvation. I want to experience true and pure Joy that only can come from being loved perfectly by You. I want to enjoy the freedom of Your Presence by continually trusting You at all times. So Lord, cultivate these things in me. Grow and mold me into a woman who is fearing You. Remind me that I am nothing apart from You. That the characteristics of goodness and beauty that people are attracted to, are only glimpses of You in me. That I am seen not as a "good girl", but as a woman who whole heartedly is seeking Your face daily and is doing all I can to point others back to You. Because this is my desire, Jesus. I long to lead others to Your feet and love people well like You called me to do. Humble me daily--hourly--minutely--secondly(??haha) Constantly chip away the bad. This is a painful process. I understand that. But oh how I long to be sanctified rather than comfortable.