A few weeks ago, I went to the Linger conference and Bethany Dillon Bernard sang her song "To Those Who Wait". To say I crumbled is an understatement. I sobbed. I shook. I hyperventilated…. okay, it wasn't that bad but I did have trouble breathing because I had so much emotion coming out and I wanted NO ONE to look at me.
I have written about waiting a few times on here, but it seems the deeper you get into the waiting process the harder and more painful it can seem. We are a selfish people who live in a society that is about the now and instantaneous satisfaction. If we are hungry-- we go to our kitchen and get food. If we "have nothing to eat" we grab our car keys and drive down the road to Sonic or Whataburger or Subway and grab something there. If there is a car in front of us driving waaaaaay slower than WE believe they should be going, we switch lanes and honk, glare, and speedily pass them (I don't honk-- or glare-- but I do feel frustrated and probably will say something angrily in my car to myself). Or we stand behind the sweet old lady that has a dang coupon for every.single.item. in her cart at the grocery store. We roll our eyes and sigh a little louder than normal and either switch check outs… or, like I recently did, wait and when I got up to the front the check out girl apologized and thanked me for waiting and I "humbly" smiled and said "it was no problem."
But that was a lie. It was a problem. I felt inconvenienced. I felt slowed down. I felt like someone who-- if I was honest and truthful-- was not as important as me… got in my way. We all have been in these situations. We have all felt bothered or irritated, and we look at that sin of anger and excuse it. But what about when we get angry about bigger things? What about when I feel jealous about my friends who all seem to be in relationships or are getting married or who are falling in love or having babies? What about the pain of loneliness that creeps up out of no where and reminds me of my singleness as a 29 year old? What about my ridiculousness in the fact that I feel cheated when someone else gets married or engaged and I don't? We don't talk about these sins or feelings… but they are true and real and harmful.
The Lord has been really sweet to me and has allowed this year that I kinda dreaded (my last year in my twenties) to be really good. It hasn't all been easy but it has been good. I have tried to fix my eyes on Him and choose joy! I haven't felt alone or sad or left out. I have felt content and loved and encouraged and saturated with grace upon grace. But it isn't always like that. Today in my study of Lamentations I was reminded of what it says in chapter 3 verse 21. The first part of chapter three the author is talking about the affliction and hard times he has faced. But he says in 21, "But this I call to mind…". He doesn't say "this is what I believe…or think or wish..", he says, "But this I call to mind." He is reminded of something. He knows truth and it gives him hope. Then in verses 22-23 it continues, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to end; they are new every morning; GREAT in Your faithfulness."
Hard times are going to come. They are going to hit you down and try and destroy you. BUT… we can stand against the lies and combat them with truth by saying, "This I call to mind… the steadfast love of the Lord NEVER CEASES!! His mercies NEVER COME TO END!! They are NEW EVERY MORNING! GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS!!" May this be the posture of our hearts (me included because I definitely do not have this down). May this be our first defense… to run to the scripture that is God breathed and to our Father who is always with us! And may this allow us to see Him as good and for us and sovereign over us!
As the Bethany Dillon song says, "I am waiting on You… You say You're good to those who wait."
To listen to this great song-- click on this link!! It will bless you immensely.