100 Things: Part One

While I was reading blogs today, I came across my friend Katie's Blog, where she had done a blog post of 100 Things. These 100 things were things that made her happy. She would post 10 things every Saturday for 10 weeks. I thought this sounded like a fabulous idea, and a great way to keep yourself positive. I will do 10 every Monday for 10 weeks-- Mondays just are not fun days for me so hopefully it will put me in a better mood. Let's begin shall we?

1. Singing

I absolutely love to sing. It doesn't matter if it is screaming Kelly Clarkson in my car, harmonizing with my sisters in the bathroom at home(great acoustics),doing karaoke over the holidays with my extended family or jamming out to Taylor Swift in the shower! I love to sing. It makes me happy.

2. Crafting

I am obsessed with painting. I may not be that good at it but it is just such a stress reliever! Turn the music on high, open the windows, and GO! Any kind of painting is good but my favorite thing to paint is canvases! I am in the middle of two right now and I am so excited to see how they turn out!

3. My Family

I have talked about them on here before but I seriously LOVE my family. Yes we fight... often actually.

.. but they are the most amazing people I know! The Lord blessed me with a father who is after God's own heart and has given huge shoes to fill for my future husband, a mother who is kind and will do anything for anyone, a sister a year younger than me that has become a great friend of mine over the past few years and who I can easily spend an hour on the phone with multiple times a week and another sister who is 6 years younger than me and who has a passion for people and the Lord that is contagious! Also, I can recently add a new bro-in-law who is so good to my sister and puts her above all others in his life, besides the Lord! He makes her laugh, pursues her and loves her unconditionally. I pray that I meet a man who not only will become great friends with him, but will do the same for me!

4. Accessories

I am obsessed with accessories! Any kind really: Jewelry (rings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets), scarves, purses, shoes, bags, sunglasses, hats, etc. I can spend forever in Charming Charlie's just looking around. I don't think I can or have gone into there without leaving with something! Even if it was something I wasn't going to find! I just love them!

5. Make-Up

I love make-up. Always have. My mother taught me at a young age--"if all you have is your lipstick you are good to go". Well, I don't always have lipstick on, but I do love me some mascara! And whenever the time and place is right I love to bust out the fake eyelashes!

6. Receiving Snail Mail

Maybe this is from all my years of working at camps and not being able to have my phone on so the only communication I had was snail mail but I get so excited when I get mail! I like writing people because most of the time they will write you back-- and everyone likes getting mail!

7. Laying Out

What is more relaxing than laying out on the beach? Or at the pool? Even in the grass in your backyard? I just love the feeling of the sun and love the way it bronzes my skin in the summer. I know, I know its not healthy but it is a guilty pleasure of mine!

8. Getting my Hair Washed

I enjoy getting my hair done but even more I enjoy getting my hair washed! You can't do it yourself--I have tried. It just feels so good having a deep hair cleaning! I would pay someone to do it every week!

9. Africa

For almost a year now the Lord has been preparing my heart for Africa! On June 26th I will step on a plane to take me there for two weeks! I will be loving on orphans and sharing Jesus with those who don't know His name or the JOY He brings!

10. Smelling Good

I love to be told that I smell good! This little baby helps that be accomplished! I just love Victoria Secret scents... they're all I wear!

My Valentine

Since Valentine's was yesterday I chose to do something that I can honestly say I don't do on February 14th every year! I decided to have a wonderful day! Crazy I know. It is easy as a single woman to turn to feelings of worthlessness, loneliness and sadness. However, just because that one area of my life is not exactly where I would like it to be, doesn't mean that I am incomplete. In fact I am overflowing with completeness. Not because of anything I have done. Oh no! Child, I am such an incredible screw up it is impossible for me to be complete-- without Jesus Christ that is! Because of my relationship with Jesus I am whole! He has drawn me up into His lap and taken me as His own. He is the creator of love. The ultimate pursuer. The one and only who has my heart in His hands and loves me unconditionally. He doesn't love me more or less when I treat Him bad ("This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” -1 John 4:10). He doesn't love me stronger when I do things for Him. He isn't impressed by my works and services to Him (Ephesians 2:7-9 says "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.")!

He doesn't need me, but He chose me! He made me for one reason and one reason only-- to bring HIM glory. I was not created to be a teacher, or a worship leader, or a wife, or a mother, or a friend, or a camp counselor, or a sister, or a daughter... I was created to bring praise and honor to the Lord of Lords through those roles in my life! He fashioned me to radiate His goodness in a world that is in desperate need of a nightlight! He desired above all else for me to praise Him with my gifts and bring others to know my Lover because of those talents He blessed me with.

In a world where the "L" word is thrown around as simply and carelessly as a football at recess, unless you have seen agape love you don't know the true meaning of it! People LOVE their ice cream, they LOVE their cars, they LOVE their favorite movies and they LOVE songs on the radio! But what are they really feeling? Do they want to spend every moment with it? Are they satisfied by it completely? Do they desire to please it and yearn for its affection? No. So what we should say is... "Oh I really LIKE that candy. That outfit is cute. I LIKE it alot!" We should align our desires up with His desires and completely submit those to Him!

Because let's me honest: I LIKE sports, reading, traveling, singing, friendships and food.

But I LOVE: the opportunities I had while playing basketball to share Christ with others, reading my Beloved's love letters to me in His truth and learning more about Him each day, traveling to the nations to share the good news with people groups that have never even heard of Jesus, leading worship so that I can be used as a tool by our Father to help lead His child to the foot of the throne, and fellowshipping with other believers over dinner while being constantly stirred, challenged and refined!

So you aren't married. So you don't have a boyfriend. So you haven't even been on a date in over a year (shout-out haha). Life doesn't begin when all that happens. Life is what is going on right now! Life is what is going to continue to go on once you go on a date, or have a boyfriend or get married. There is a great book called Lady in Waiting and in it, it says: "A woman is not born a woman. Nor does she become one when she marries a man, bears a child and does their dirty linen, not even when she joins a women's liberation movement. A woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be." How great is that? It is just constant reassurance that we are doing what we are doing because that is what God has called us and created us to do! So yes I long for the day when I hear that whisper tickle my ear from the Lord with the confirmation of "This is the one I have created for you to help do my Kingdom Work, Beloved"... but until then I will just continue to do my thing and help Jesus' name become like a wild fire. Out of control and taking over everything in it's path!

“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

It’s easy to talk the talk but can you walk the walk? In Song of Solomon 8:4 it says “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” You can hear it all day long. The Lord is good. He has a special person picked out solely for you. That person will not only captivate your heart—but He will guide you and lead you where you can do the most Kingdom work. As a 25 year old woman I have heard this multiple times. I know the truth and I know the Lord’s promise “not to harm or hurt me—but to give me hope and a future!” (Jeremiah 29:11) Our God is not an angry or spiteful God. He loves His daughters and He wants to bless you. He desires to reveal Himself to you and pour His goodness out on you. However—He is not a Santa Claus figure. He doesn’t sit up on a throne and simply grant wishes. He orchestrates His will and yearns for your complete heart.

We as women try to manipulate situations. Not because we are conniving or have alternate motives, but because we want to be happy. For instance, lets say you are in the mall and you see a gorgeous man. He is goood looking and you want him to make eye contact with you. So you slide over a few feet so that his eyes will connect with yours. Harmless right? Well what about if you are a little more bold. You walk by him and "accidently" bump into him. Then you turn around, apologize and giggle. INSTANT CONNECTION! Still harmless? It isn't bad-- but you are trying to scheme to get his attention. You are arousing that desire that may not be the Lord's will!

You do this because you are taught, at a very young age, that worth comes from acceptance. Acceptance in school means you make good grades but make it look easy; acceptance from people means you are beautiful—at all times—and try your best to impress people; acceptance in sports means you excel in your talents and use them to gain popularity; acceptance from men means you are wanted by all and are able to pick and choose at your discretion. But these are false. A man does not make you worthy of love. You need not find your complete satisfaction in him because men are human—which ultimately means they will fail you. I am not a feminist woman who is screaming “Women’s rights! Women’s rights!”, I have just given too much of my heart away and personally know the damage and pain it can do to you.

One of my favorite quotes can be found in my mother's bible. It speaks such truth--it says : "My friends may fail me; my family may fail me; my job may fail me, my school may fail me... but MY GOD MAY NEVER FAIL ME!" He is our Beloved. Our Daddy. The one who cares more about us than anyone.

We are an easily distracted species. And Satan knows this. He knows the things to pull us away from Jesus and get distracted. He knows our "hooks". The things that take our eyes away from focusing upward to focusing inward. This can be anything... for Peter it was fear. In Matthew 14 the familiar story of Jesus walking on the water occurs. In this book, however, it tells about how Peter cried out to Jesus (vs. 28) "Lord, if it's you... call me out onto the water!" When Peter's eyes were fixed on Jesus he was fine--he was walking on water! With Jesus we are able to do the impossible. But when he hesitated and listened to Satan's whispering lies ("Aren't you scared? Can you REALLY do this? What if you fail? What if you fall?") he took his eyes off Jesus and turned them onto the ocean. He lost his faith and his security in Jesus and placed it in his own hands. We do this so often. We replace Jesus with things that we think we can control--these things push Jesus aside and distract us from His glory. These things are called idols. It can be a physical thing (boyfriend, clothes, money, movie star/athlete) or it can be an emotional thing (achievement idol, fear idol, relationship idol, approval idol, power idol) which is just as, if not more dangerous. You see, it is so easy for us to get side tracked and lose focus on the PRIZE! The prize is Jesus and so often we settle for a consolation ribbon when we could have the first place trophy. We sell ourselves short to find temporary goodness when eternal greatness is up the road just a little further. Beth Moore says it perfectly… she says:

"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner."

This means that the Lord uses every single minute of our lives for the refinement of us. He desires us to be flawless and perfect in His image… however, we are so impatient and prideful that we give up or get side tracked. We settle in our friendships, and in our relationships instead of holding out for what God has planned for our lives.

The exciting thing is that it doesn’t have to be this way. God is good—all the time and He loves you so much. We need to find our complete worth in the Lord. I used to HATE when people said “You know… Singleness is such a blessing. I envy you!” I literally wanted to punch people in the face when they would tell me that. I would want to scream, “The ONLY reason you are saying that is because you are not single!” haha However, there is so much truth to that. What a wonderful opportunity we have to serve the Lord during this time. We have no restrictions; no one holding us back. I have an ache in my heart to go to Africa this summer. If I was married it wouldn’t just be MY money paying for it—it would be ours. I wouldn’t be able to just make a decision, pickup my stuff and leave. We would have to discuss it. If I had kids I couldn’t just peace out and go for a few weeks in the summer. But I have this “gift of singleness” to go off and love on little Africans babies, and speak Jesus’ name to people who have never heard of Him, and radiate Christ to all I encounter. Jesus has me here for a reason. Maybe He’s still preparing my future husband, maybe He didn’t plan that for me. I am not really certain. However, what I am certain of is that Jesus is the center of my life and my desire (more than marriage and babies and a family) is bringing glory to Jesus! He is good and He is our one and only. Let Him have control of your life. He will bless you way better than you ever thought possible. He is so precious and is enthralled by you (Psalm 45:10).

Hope you have a Tranquil Tuesday!

Refining

My heart has been burdened lately. So many desires are burning and stirring up inside me. Desires that I cannot fulfill and have to place into the Lord's hands.

-The first cry of my heart is for Africa. For some reason this continent has come to mean so much to me. I have a yearning to serve and love on the people there. I have looked for opportunities to go there this summer but can't seem to find any organization to go with. I know the Lord has specifically told me AFRICA for some reason. Whether that is because I am going to go this summer, or later on in life, He has never the less given me a longing for this people group.

-The next desire I have is for companionship...for the long haul. haha I know I know--I am just like every other girl my age. All their friends are up and getting married and they feel left out and lonely and want to find their own "Prince Charming". However, as much truth there is in those words, that is not my only reasoning. You see--I love serving people. And lately I have ached for a spouse to serve. I don't just mean to make dinner for and clean up after. I mean passionately serve. To be that Proverbs 31 woman who in on my knees for this man daily; who is out in the mission field loving on and caring for God's people alongside him; who is completely content with his unconditional love and willing to submit and follow this man who leads and pastors me all the days of my earthly life. There are two problems however. The first of the two is that the Lord's timeline and mine don't match up. And even though I think I am so ready for this-- the Lord may not. I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't had a date in--well since college. And there is no prospects in sight. Problem number two is that when I do begin to like a man I get so wrapped up in the situation and idea of it all that I make him sooo important. I am not chill. I am not nonchalant. I begin to make him somewhat of an idol. And that is why I think I haven't had this happen yet. I have to learn to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus whether there is a boy in the picture or not. I have to find my complete worth in HIM on the good days and on the bad days... when I am content and when I am lonely... on the mountains and in the valleys. Until then--I don't see this desire becoming fulfilled.

-The third cry of my heart is for my witness. I feel like sometimes it is just a show. I want to be branded with the "good christian" title that my desires become tainted. This brings me to my knees in heartbreak and sickness. This is not of the Lord. The talents the Lord has blessed me with can become a stumbling block if I don't constantly have my guard up against the enemy. He is trying to pull my down and knock me off when I am doing well. This can occur in many situations-- for example... say I am singing and worshipping the Lord and then someone hears me and says "Steph..you sing amazing. You are so good." This in itself is not a sin. It is the pride that sometimes follows that is the sin. This can be better tamed with four little words with a huge, humbling meaning.... "It's not about me!" It's not about me. I need to remember that without the Lord and His love and His blessings I am nothing.

I will try not to get discouraged about this. The fact that I see these now gives me hope. I am constantly being molded and refined by the Lord so I know that He is faithful. He is a good God who has plans to "help and not to harm me--to give me hope and a future" -Jeremiah. 29:11 My Beloved is good and He is ALWAYS with me.

Fun Polar Express Friday

A beautiful reminder...