You do this because you are taught, at a very young age, that worth comes from acceptance. Acceptance in school means you make good grades but make it look easy; acceptance from people means you are beautiful—at all times—and try your best to impress people; acceptance in sports means you excel in your talents and use them to gain popularity; acceptance from men means you are wanted by all and are able to pick and choose at your discretion. But these are false. A man does not make you worthy of love. You need not find your complete satisfaction in him because men are human—which ultimately means they will fail you. I am not a feminist woman who is screaming “Women’s rights! Women’s rights!”, I have just given too much of my heart away and personally know the damage and pain it can do to you.
One of my favorite quotes can be found in my mother's bible. It speaks such truth--it says : "My friends may fail me; my family may fail me; my job may fail me, my school may fail me... but MY GOD MAY NEVER FAIL ME!" He is our Beloved. Our Daddy. The one who cares more about us than anyone.
We are an easily distracted species. And Satan knows this. He knows the things to pull us away from Jesus and get distracted. He knows our "hooks". The things that take our eyes away from focusing upward to focusing inward. This can be anything... for Peter it was fear. In Matthew 14 the familiar story of Jesus walking on the water occurs. In this book, however, it tells about how Peter cried out to Jesus (vs. 28) "Lord, if it's you... call me out onto the water!" When Peter's eyes were fixed on Jesus he was fine--he was walking on water! With Jesus we are able to do the impossible. But when he hesitated and listened to Satan's whispering lies ("Aren't you scared? Can you REALLY do this? What if you fail? What if you fall?") he took his eyes off Jesus and turned them onto the ocean. He lost his faith and his security in Jesus and placed it in his own hands. We do this so often. We replace Jesus with things that we think we can control--these things push Jesus aside and distract us from His glory. These things are called idols. It can be a physical thing (boyfriend, clothes, money, movie star/athlete) or it can be an emotional thing (achievement idol, fear idol, relationship idol, approval idol, power idol) which is just as, if not more dangerous. You see, it is so easy for us to get side tracked and lose focus on the PRIZE! The prize is Jesus and so often we settle for a consolation ribbon when we could have the first place trophy. We sell ourselves short to find temporary goodness when eternal greatness is up the road just a little further. Beth Moore says it perfectly… she says:
"If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner."
This means that the Lord uses every single minute of our lives for the refinement of us. He desires us to be flawless and perfect in His image… however, we are so impatient and prideful that we give up or get side tracked. We settle in our friendships, and in our relationships instead of holding out for what God has planned for our lives.
The exciting thing is that it doesn’t have to be this way. God is good—all the time and He loves you so much. We need to find our complete worth in the Lord. I used to HATE when people said “You know… Singleness is such a blessing. I envy you!” I literally wanted to punch people in the face when they would tell me that. I would want to scream, “The ONLY reason you are saying that is because you are not single!” haha However, there is so much truth to that. What a wonderful opportunity we have to serve the Lord during this time. We have no restrictions; no one holding us back. I have an ache in my heart to go to Africa this summer. If I was married it wouldn’t just be MY money paying for it—it would be ours. I wouldn’t be able to just make a decision, pickup my stuff and leave. We would have to discuss it. If I had kids I couldn’t just peace out and go for a few weeks in the summer. But I have this “gift of singleness” to go off and love on little Africans babies, and speak Jesus’ name to people who have never heard of Him, and radiate Christ to all I encounter. Jesus has me here for a reason. Maybe He’s still preparing my future husband, maybe He didn’t plan that for me. I am not really certain. However, what I am certain of is that Jesus is the center of my life and my desire (more than marriage and babies and a family) is bringing glory to Jesus! He is good and He is our one and only. Let Him have control of your life. He will bless you way better than you ever thought possible. He is so precious and is enthralled by you (Psalm 45:10).