This is not easy for me. Some of you may be shaking your heads at that. Some of you may be thinking, "But Steph, you are confident. You know the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, and you stand up for that. You are good with your words and say what you think!" Wrong. I am terrified of rejection. I am a people pleaser to the core and completely dislike feeling that way. I would rather be hurt or inconvenienced than make someone else feel that way-- even if they need to know! I have been known to be a door mat and I have years of footprints covering me. However, that has Satan written all over it. That's not of Jesus. He doesn't send embarrassment and shame.... He sends mercy and love.
So what do you do when you are in this situation? I happen to be in one right now. I am a words of affirmation girl and its crazy how the sweetest things said to me can totally cloud my vision. The Lord promises us that He has a will for our life. One abounding with help and hope and a future. He has so much rich scripture displaying those promises...
"I have come into the world as light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness." John 12:46
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart ! I have overcome the world ! " John 16:33
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt. 11:28
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak " Isaiah 40:29
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine" Isaiah 43:1
"I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life." John 6:47
"Jesus said: 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies'....." John 11:25
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Heb.11:1
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be moved, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed." Isaiah 54:10
"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Isaiah 42:16
"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy maybe complete" John 15:11
"...but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." John 16:22
"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. " Isaiah 46:4
"I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me." Proverbs 8:17
"...the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him! " Isaiah 30:18
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:7
"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:12
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." Isaiah 43:1,2
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 5,6
".....He will teach us his ways, so that we may walk in his paths...." Isaiah 2:3
" But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour. " Titus 3:4-6
I know that was a lot of scripture reading but it is just so incredible how many times and ways the Lord has revealed His promises to us. If you are like me then you say, "yeah but what about this (fill in your current problem) hateful person at work, family member I don't get along with, guy situation? God... like I know that you tell me to trust you with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, but Jesus I thought this one was different. He acted like he cared. He seemed like he was really interested and wanted to date me." We have to trust God in ALL situations... not just the ones that slip through our hands that have a strong hold on all of our problems. We have to choose to lay everything down at the feet of Christ and believe that He is so good and has such a purpose and plan for our life that it is crazy better than anything we could ever imagine.
And then walk away from it. I feel like I lay it down and then just stay by it... trying to grab little pieces that splatter out of the pile or parts that are hanging off the side. That is not true submission. That is not true reliance on the Lord. So walk away. Give everything to the Lord, TRUST that He is in control and walk away. You never know what the Lord has in store for you-- maybe down the road that guy will be the man He has planned for your life. Maybe through growth the Lord will allow him to pursue you in a way that is pleasing and approved by the Him. So walk away.... if he doesn't run after you....keep on walking!
So thats where I am right now. I am on my face praying. Praying for His will. Praying not to feel dumb and stupid in this situation--because it wasn't anything I did... that is just Satan trying to distract me from running up into my Beloved's arms and letting His promises wash over me. And praying that He turns His ear to me and hears His daughter's cries. Because I am hurt. I am disappointed. But I know that the Lord will never, ever forget or forsake me. So I am walking...